


Why Don't You Call Me Tetsu, Like You Do?

by mytsukkishine



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Implied Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, M/M, Memory Loss, Original Character(s), Past Relationship(s), Tsukishima is not selfish, memory loss au, mentioned tsukishima akiteru - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-03 05:53:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8699881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mytsukkishine/pseuds/mytsukkishine
Summary: Kuroo got into an accident and woke up with missing pieces of his life. But at least he remembers his relationship with Tsukishima and that's a good thing, right? Except, they're not together anymore.





	1. questions and doubts

**Author's Note:**

> I think I'm losing my mind now  
> It's in my head, darling I hope  
> That you'll be here, when I need you the most
> 
> \- Don't Let Me Down by The Chainsmokers ft. Daya
> 
>  
> 
> (author's note: as you can see i haven't posted stories for a while bcz im cooking this baby up so i hope you will stay tuned and enjoy this! thank you!)

“Kei…” Kei looked down at Kuroo’s state. He was on the hospital bed, his head wrapped in a bandage, his bruises all over were also covered. One of Kuroo’s arm was cemented but all in all, he seems fine. He’s awake, even.

But the thing was…

“I was wondering where you’ve been,” Kuroo smiled weakly, pain evident on his face but his happiness was recognizable by the tone of his voice. “I… I was busy,” Kei looked away, tears pooling under his eyes.

He can’t cry now.

“Well, at least you’re here now,” Kuroo reached his hand up, wanting to hold Kei’s hand. The blond hesitated for a while, glancing at Kuroo’s hand and then his face. “Y-You should rest,”

“Will you be here all night?” The silent plead painted on Kuroo's face made Kei’s knees go weak. Even after a year, with one look, Kuroo still made him submit to everything. Everything about him.

“I’ll try but for now, please rest Kuroo-san.” When Kuroo gave him a questionable look, Kei asked what’s wrong. And when Kuroo responded, Kei didn’t know his already broken heart can break more.

“Why don’t you call me Tetsu, like you do?”

Kei released a sigh, eyes averted up at the ceiling to stop the tears threatening to fall. “Just rest first. I’ll be here…” Kei took Kuroo’s hand and finally the other relaxed, closed his eyes, still holding Kei’s hand tightly.

Kei was dying inside. The way his fingers fits perfectly together with Kuroo’s was beyond words. He fucking missed this, to be honest, but those big warm hands doesn't belong to him anymore.

Used to be, but not anymore.

After a while, Kei lets go of Kuroo’s hand, the warmth leaving him wanting for more.

No, he mustn’t cry.

Glancing one last time at Kuroo’s sleeping face, he stood up and walked out of the suffocating room. The smell of anti-septic still lingered outside but not as strong as inside the room.

When Kei closed the door gently, he was greeted with the crestfallen face of Ichimi, his lover. Oh, how much Kei wanted to see that look before but now, he just felt sorry. For Ichimi, for him, and for Kuroo.

“How did it go?” The long haired girl asked, her eyes avoiding his own, her hair a little disheveled but she still looked so damn beautiful. No wonder Kuroo had fallen for her. Kei looked at her up and down, noting the tear stained cheeks and quivering lips. She has been crying.

Who wouldn’t? When their lover doesn’t know who they are.

“He’s sleeping.”

“Tsukishima…”

“I’m doing this because…” Kei couldn’t continue. Why did he agreed to this? Why did he lower himself so much for Kuroo? He can be anywhere now, in his meeting, in his office enjoying his coffee, but no. He’s here, talking to Kuroo’s new lover who was begging for his presence, because Kuroo can’t remember a thing except him.

Why is life cruel?

“I know you’re not happy but as soon as Kuroo gets well… I’ll leave.” His breathing slowly became fast, feeling a headache coming up as he digest the situation he got himself in.

For goddamn, Kuroo.

“Tsukishima-kun…” Ichimi was crying again and Kei doesn’t really know how to comfort girls. He’s not good at comforting people generally.

“I- I miss Kuroo-san…” Kei sometimes asked if humans are really this cruel. How can she say this to his face? He thought he was the cruel one? The rude one? Well, he can’t blame her.

“I’m going now.”

 

~*~

 

Kei groaned as the vibrations of his phone ruined his sleep. He rubbed his eyes and grabbed his glasses, glancing at the clock beside him, he huffed. Who the hell calls at 2:30 in the morning? He fumbled for his phone before answering, not even bothering to look at who’s the caller.

“Hello?”

“Tsukishima-kun, can you please come here?” It’s Ichimi. Tsukishima sat up straight and opened the lamp beside him. His heart started to ponder, it’s Kuroo related, he can feel it. “He’s crying, he’s calling for you…” Ichimi was crying through the other line and Kei can’t help but feel sorry for her.

No matter how much he dislikes her, he still feels sympathy for her. The feeling of knowing your lover doesn’t love you hurts.

Half an hour, Kei was already at the entrance of the hospital with a duffel bag beside him. The cold night of November was freezing his ass off. He took a deep breath before entering. When he reached the floor to Kuroo’s room he was greeted by a sobbing Ichimi outside.

“Ichimi-san…”

“Tsukishima-kun!” Also, Kei hated the fact that she’s older than him.

“He- He doesn’t want to see me!!” Another sobbed echoed and really, Kei felt sorry. But not sorry enough.

His selfish side was taking over again.

No, he shouldn’t be like this. He’s moving on. Kuroo doesn’t belong to him anymore. They broke up a year ago and— “I’ll handle Kuroo. How about you go home and rest?” He didn’t wait for an answer, he just bowed and entered the room.

“Tsukki?” Kuroo was a mess, his hair was unkempt, face a little oily and his dinner beside him untouched. Kei sighs, putting his bag down, he walked up to Kuroo who has a smile on his face despite of the dry trail of tears on his cheeks. At this point, Kei doesn’t know what to feel anymore.

“Where have you been? Why do you let some girl take care of me?” Kuroo questioned as he tried to sit up straight but the blond stopped him, Kei walked to the back of Kuroo’s bed and adjusted the gear, letting Kuroo sit up straight without putting too much pressure on his arm and head. “Do you want to eat? You didn’t touch your dinner,”

“Are you busy? Am I a bother again?”

Those words rang inside Kei’s head, causing him to stop his movements. It crumbled him apart that Kuroo remembered.

Remembered how much of a workaholic he was and how much he neglects the other one.

“I- I’m sorry,” Oh how much Kei wanted to say those words a year ago.

“It’s okay, I understand that you have work.” 

“How about I buy you a meal down the convenient stor—”

“No, it’s okay, Kei…” How did things become so awkward at this point? Kei just sighed, grabbed his wallet from his back pocket before walking towards the door, “I’ll just buy some food for the both of us.”

“You’ll come back right?” Kei turned around to look at Kuroo, eyes gazing at the awaiting face of the other. That handsome face that begged for Kei’s presence. He remembered the day where Kuroo begged him to take a day-off but refused to do so. He was busy and there were a lot of things to do but now looking back…

Kei finally gave Kuroo a soft smile, eyes stinging a little at the sight of Kuroo smiling back at him. “Yeah…”

He’ll be back.

 

~*~

 

Kei nodded at the doorman who opened the double doors for him, his polished shoes echoing with each step he made as he entered the luxurious Crescent Hotel. Some of the staff greeted him as he made his way to one of the restaurants inside the hotel, The Hive.

“Good morning, sir.”

“Good morning, may I speak to Bokuto-san?” the receptionist bowed before making her way to the kitchen. Kei glanced around and saw a few people before sitting down on one available table. A waiter approached him and filled the goblet with water before placing a menu on the table.

“Can I have scotch whiskey?”

“My, my Tsukki. Scotch this early?” Bokuto Koutarou smirked, wiping his hands on the messy apron he’s wearing. Kei just scoffed before waving off the waiter. “How’s Kuroo?” Bokuto took a seat in front of the blond, eyes scanning the tired expression Kei was sporting.

“He’s fine…”

“Are you fine?” Kei didn’t answer, he just stared at the menu he was holding, taking note to increase the price for the main course. Bokuto just sighs, fixing his chef uniform and the waiter came back with Kei’s scotch and a water for Bokuto.

Bokuto goddamn knows Kei’s hurting. At first, he was uncertain that this plan of Kei to take care of Kuroo for a while will be a good idea but of course, Kei never listens. Sometimes Bokuto wonders why people think of Kei as someone heartless and rude when in fact, he puts others first than himself.

“Tsukishima…”

“I’m here to ask you to take Kuroo’s documents and put it on sick leave.” Kei knows Bokuto never calls him with his full last name, he always calls him Tsukki in the loudest way possible but when it comes to serious Bokuto, Kei knows this man can make him change his plans in just one sentence.

They’ve been friends since college and the two of them had been tight ever since Kei started to manage the hotel, Bokuto always helps him with financial and emotional problems along with some of his friends but Bokuto, he’ll never leave Tsukishima even if the blond makes the stupidest decisions.

And yes, Bokuto is not the idiot one in their friendship. “Yeah, okay. Gonna work on it.”

“Also, don’t send Ichimi his health benefits and insurance.” Kei gulped the scotch in one shot before standing up, “I’ll leave—”

“Don’t tell me you’re gonna pay for everything?”

Kei thinks back about the pros and cons of paying for Kuroo’s fees. He knows it’s a dangerous move (not financially) and he knows it’s a bit much (considering they’re not together anymore) but Kei thinks this is a way he can repay Kuroo.

Repay Kuroo for all the shitty things he’d done in the past.

“This hotel makes billions, it’s just a pinch in the wallet.” With one last wave, the blond left with Bokuto praying for his friend to stop hurting.

 

 

_Bokuto watched lazily as the employees’ elevator opened and greeted some employees that were ready to go home “Oh! Good evening,” He saw Mitzu, Kei’s secretary, bowed and smiled up at him._

_“Good evening. Mitzu, is Kei still there?” The girl nods with a sad expression, “I told him to go home before 9,”_

_Bokuto looked at the watch and it’s already 10:30PM. Kei should be home around 6 PM. With a sigh, he nods towards the girl before entering the elevator and clicking the top floor, ready to reprimand his friend for overworking._

_When the heavy door opened, he quickly walked towards Kei’s office and didn’t even knock before entering. He was greeted by a sight of stacked paper everywhere, from the chair to the floor, a stressed Kei with messy clothing and empty coffee mugs on the desk. He was amazed that none of the papers were stained with coffee._

_“Tsukki…”_

_“Oh, Bokuto-san, how’s The Hive? Was dinner time hectic?” the blond didn’t even look up from his computer. Bokuto just sighs, walking towards Kei before taking his glasses off. “Hey!-”_

_“Dinner time was over. Do you know what time it is?”_

_“Bokuto-san, please!”_

_“What about Kuroo, huh? Isn’t he waiting for you?”_

_“Bokuto-san!”_

_“That’s why both of you always fight, yadda-yadda don’t have time, Tsukki! Kuroo needs—”_

_“We’re over!” Bokuto finally stopped, eyes going wide as Kei remained seated with his head down. “Tsukki…” Bokuto never thought that he will get to hear Kei cry. Immediately, Bokuto dropped the glasses gently on the desk and kneeling down in front of his friend. “Tsukki…”_

_“I- It’s my fault, Bokuto-san…” To be honest, Bokuto doesn’t really know what to do. His heart was breaking just the sight of his friend crying, especially Kei. “I… Kuroo deserves someone who can be there for him! Who can…” Kei finally looked up and Bokuto quickly engulfed him in a hug, rubbing soothing circles on his back._

_Kei was family to Bokuto. He’s like a little brother._

_Kei grew up without a family, only his brother as a support but when Kei was in college and his brother got into an accident, the Bokuto family supported Kei financially and emotionally as the blond continues what his brother left for him, the Crescent Hotel ._

_“We were fading! Bokuto-san, I love him so much…” Bokuto nods, still rubbing circles on the blond’s back. Eyes getting teary. The last time Kei had a break down was when Akiteru died, he remembered the day of Akiteru’s burial and Kei wasn’t even crying, it was at night when Kei went to his room and broke down, crying on his shoulders as he clung for dear life and kept repeating Akiteru’s name._

_“I fucked up our relationship…”_

_“Tsukki, stop—”_

_“I abandoned him. Oh god, I fucked up Bokuto-san!” Kei buried his face on Bokuto’s chest, hands clinging tightly on the hem of Bokuto’s shirt. His heart hurts so fucking much with the thought of going home without Kuroo, going home without receiving kisses, without—_

 

 

“Bokuto-san!” Bokuto snapped out of his thoughts when one of his kohai called out to him. He stood up and fixed the chair before nodding at the panicking kohai, giggling a little. It’s lunch time and it means, it’s the peak hour.

“Coming!”

 

~*~

 

Ichimi sat on the bench as she watches employees from the hospital slowly carrying Kuroo’s body to a stretcher. She was informed that Kuroo was to be moved to the prestige private ward and she knows it’s Kei who paid for it.

She just sighs, feeling down all of the sudden. She misses Kuroo so much but fate doesn’t seem to want them to be together. She knows her boyfriend is biromantic and she accepted him but it hurts on how Kuroo remembers his ex-lover and not her.

“Ichimi-san?”

“Yes?”

“Patient will be checked by Doctor Akaashi Keiji, and here are all the schedules for his therapies.” Ichimi bows at the nurse before walking towards the elevator to follow where Kuroo has been taken.

As she waits for the elevator, she can feel her heart pounding against her ribcage as the thought of Kuroo not ever going to remember her. The insecure feeling crept up her throat and it makes her wanna throw up.

She can’t lose Kuroo.

Ichimi quickly picked up her phone as she stared at the contact number of Kei.


	2. We're Best Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You remind me.  
> Of someone I once knew.  
> Someone who I wish, I wish I still had in my life.  
> \- U Remind Me by Xan Griffin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, it seems like i updated at the wrong time yesterday.   
> as i was about to update, Ao3 encountered an error that's why some chapters were posted multiple times so i'm sorry for some false hope :(  
> Also my laptop broke so expect updates every week or so? :)  
> thank you ! I hope you enjoy this ;) ;)

Kei sighs tiredly, both emotionally and physically tired that he feels like vomiting. It’s been three days since Kuroo was hospitalized and it has been three days since Kei kept a straight face to Kuroo. To be honest, he wants to cry every time. Kei doesn’t even know what’s right and what’s wrong anymore.

3 and a half years of being together will never be easy to forget. Kei did try to move on, keyword: tried.

“Kei, I’m bored~” Even with lots of bandages on his face, Kuroo was still energetic as ever. Kei just shook his head and resumed on peeling the pears he knows Kuroo loves. After a while, Kuroo didn’t speak anymore, with just the soft humming of the TV program and the peeling of fruit can be heard.

“Here,” The blond handed Kuroo one of the pears and the other gladly opened his mouth like an awaiting puppy. Something churned in Kei’s stomach as he hesitantly fed Kuroo. The other was happily chewing on the said fruit, eyes closed with bliss and Kei…

Kei just looked away.

“Tsukki, when can I go home? I miss cooking,” He knows Kuroo was good at cooking, baking, bartending, managing, he’s not just an employee in The Hive. Kei knows the other can make delicious dishes, mouth-watering dessert, and extravagant alcoholic beverages.

Patisserie and Bartending were always Kuroo’s forte. Kei would watch Kuroo flair bottles and shakers and make the perfect concoction of any kinds of alcoholic beverages.

He specifically remembers how Kuroo will always bake him Strawberry Shortcake with rum on the side.

“Tsukki!”

“Ah... yes?”

“Your phone, it’s ringing.” Kei quickly puts the plate down on the table before picking up his phone from his bag. He didn’t even hear it ringing.

“Yes, hello? Tsukishima speaking.” Kuroo watched as Kei turned his back at him, feeling sad at the sight. He watches as Kei talked intently and something ached in Kuroo’s heart like this is all familiar, like just seeing Kei’s back before him—

_“Kei!”_

_“I know, just wait! Wait up, this is important.”_

 

—Kuroo held onto his head as he groaned, clutching it for dear life.

Kei, who heard the groan, turned to look at Kuroo and immediately panicked, he excused himself to the other line before running up to Kuroo, “Kuroo! Are you okay?”

“Tsukki… it hurts—” Kei pressed the red button above the bed and he just stood there.

He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know how to react. Seeing Kuroo groaning in pain had Kei’s eyes pooling with tears. “Tet—”and he was pushed out as doctors entered the room.

 

~*~

 

“He’s fine now, something just triggered him that’s why his head started to ache,” A short, messy black haired doctor told Kei as he continued to check on Kuroo’s file. Kei’s heart beats uncontrollably, wanting to see Kuroo right now. “Triggered?”

“The memories he forgot starts to slowly come back. We’re lucky if all of it comes back but for now…” Kei wasn’t hearing any of what the doctor was saying, his mind has this buzzing sound of Kuroo is starting to remember.

Kei knows he should be happy, so he can get over with this and move on with how things his life was without Kuroo.

And that thought fucking hurts.

“Tsukishima-kun!” Ichimi came running towards the two men, panting when she finally reached them. “Kuroo—”

“He’s fine now,” Kei didn’t mean to sound so cold.

“What is the patient’s relation to you?” The doctor finally asked, looking a little stern at the newcomer. Kei remembers that they were on the top floor of the hospital and Kuroo is at the private ward and doctors were pretty strict to visitors.

“She’s the girlfriend…” Kei spoke, face as straight as ever.

“Oh? Nice to meet you, I’m doctor Akaashi.” He bowed. Akaashi looked at Ichimi and then at Kei. “You can see him now but he’s asleep at the moment.” With one last bow, the doctor left the two alone.

“I’ll be going to work, stay with him.”

“Tsukishima-kun…”

“Yes?”

“I started to work on Kuroo’s papers—”

“Ichimi-san,” The blond started, now looking at her (almost intimidatingly). “We talked about this.” Ichimi sighs tiredly, running her hands through her soft hair. “I know, Tsukishima-kun. But Kuroo’s salary is enough to pay for the bills,”

“I told you it’s not a bother to the company—”

“Tsukishi-”

“Ichimi-san!”

“I just don’t want you paying everything for Kuroo!” The sudden outburst of the girl surprised the both of them. Ichimi quickly puts her hand over her mouth, eyes looking up at the blond. Meanwhile, Kei was just standing there, soaking up what Ichimi said. “Tsukishima-kun, I just—just requesting your presence is enough—”

“No need to be jealous. As I told you, once Kuroo is well, I’ll leave.” Kei turned to open the double door, eyes motioning for Ichimi to enter. “Just let me do this.” Kei looked at Ichimi and his heart broke.

These past few days, Ichimi has been crying and now Kei feels the selfish need to just lock himself up with Kuroo but with one look of Ichimi’s face crashed Kei back to reality. Kuroo is not his anymore.

With a nod, Kei left. That’s all he had been doing. Leaving.

 

~*~

 

“Do you wanna go out?”

“No thanks…” Kuroo pursed his lips as he looked at the stubborn girl before him. He doesn’t really know who this girl is and she kept persuading him to go out, push him in a wheelchair to get out of this stuffy room. The girl just sighs before nodding, walking up to the mini fridge, “How about eat?”

“No.”

“I could buy you some—”

“Who are you by the way? Why are you taking care of me?” This is the first time Kuroo asked Ichimi who she was, he was always ignoring her whenever she’s there. Ichimi has been taking care of Kuroo whenever Kei was busy and her heart aches whenever Kuroo chose not to talk to her.

“I…” Oh how much she wanted to say the truth, to say she loves him, to say that she misses him so much.

But she can’t…

 

_“We can’t force the patient to remember things, the memories should come back on its own or it will be very dangerous to the patient’s brain.”_

 

Ichimi eyes started to sting as she continued to stare at the insides of the mini fridge. Inhaling deeply, she closed the fridge and turned around to look at the man on the bed, “I’m your best friend, Kuro! Don’t you remember?” She pouted, hoping something in Kuroo’s mind will stir, unfortunately, the man just gave her an apologetic look.

“I’m sorry, I don’t remember you…” Kuroo sighs as he scrunched up his nose, “We’re best friends, huh? Maybe I’ll remember soon…”

“Yeah…” Ichimi bit her lower lip. Tears threatening to fall as Kuroo smiled softly at her.

The sudden knock on the door made the both of them jump a little, Ichimi walking towards to open it. “Tsukishima-kun…” Kei nods before entering with two of his men behind him carrying a bunch of stuff. Kuroo and Ichimi took note of the foods and some of the things they know are Kei’s work related things.

When the men were done putting it on the table, Kei excused them off while saying that he needed to be picked up tomorrow by lunch. Kuroo was glad that Kei will be available ‘till lunch time and that means they’ll get to eat together.

Still as straight faced as ever, Kuroo’s heart still beats rapidly with just the sight of the blond. “Kei, you’re here early!”

“Ah… yeah, Bokuto-san made me leave my office…” Kuroo frowned at the unfamiliar name and decided to ask about who that Bokuto-san is in the future but for now, his happiness was beyond the roof with just the presence of Kei.

“Ichimi-san, Kuroo-san… have you both eaten yet? I brought food…” Kei said as he rummages through the paper bag, looking for something that can please all of their appetites. He mostly brought biscuits and bread but it’s enough.

Ichimi who has been quiet when Kei entered, stares as she sees Kei talking monotonously to Kuroo who was enthusiastic about the bread Kei brought.

Her heart pounding against her rib cage loudly as the dreading feeling of insecurity, jealousy and anger boil up in her insides. At this point, she feels helpless.

Unconsciously, a tear fell down her eyes as she looked at Kuroo.

It hurts so fucking much at how Kuroo was looking at Kei.

She knows that gaze, it’s how Kuroo looked at her. Filled with love. But this time, the amount of love radiating through Kuroo while watching Kei was much more than how he used to look at her.

“I… I’ll leave—” Kei glanced at Ichimi, noting the sad look the girl was giving off. She was about to grab her bag when Kei called out to her, “No… Ichimi-san…” Kei took a deep breath, looking at Kuroo and then at Ichimi. “Stay. Can you help Kuroo eat? I need to do something first.”

“Kei…” The blond made a regrettable decision in looking at Kuroo’s direction. The lad was clearly hurt at his words, Kuroo feeling like he’s being pushed away for some work. Kei didn’t even reply at Kuroo, grabbing his laptop bag before walking towards the desk provided inside the room to start on his work.

Meanwhile, Ichimi stared at the both of them, feeling the tension. She knows what Kei was doing, it was to bring them closer to each other and clearly it hurts Kuroo, judging by his expression. Ichimi saw Kei put on headphones before being indulged in whatever he’s doing.

With a sigh, she walked to the table to look at the brown bags, “Kuro, there’s melon bread here, do you want one?” She held up the bread as she turned her gaze towards the man. Without waiting for an answer, she paced back to Kuroo’s bed and sat beside it. Opening the package, she gave her sweetest smile to Kuroo.

 

~*~

_“This is not working…” Kuroo doesn’t know why he uttered those words, his eyes gazing with worry as he might’ve hurt Kei’s feeling._

_The face of Kei was as straight as ever. Hardly any emotions were so and it gave Kuroo mixed feelings. “Did you even love me?” Kuroo can’t stop saying words he doesn’t want to say. What’s going on?_

_“Yes! I do!”_

_“Why don’t I feel it?” Kuroo turned his back, walking away from the blond._

_‘No! Let me see Kei!’ No matter how much Kuroo tries, his legs won’t stop walking, walking into nothingness, leaving his Kei behind._

 

Kuroo suddenly opened his eyes, head throbbing a little as the hospital’s white ceiling greeted him. He was panting as his eyes adjust to the dark surroundings, only the light of the lamp beside him was on. Kuroo slowly looked to his right and immediately calmed down.

There he sees his moonshine sleeping peacefully, his arms crossed as his head rests on it in a comfy way but he knows it will strain his back later on. Kuroo wanted to wake Kei up but he looks so peaceful and relaxed.

Kuroo noticed a book was beside him so he took it carefully and gently sets it aside. Thankful that his right arm wasn’t cemented, unlike his left. Kuroo gazed at Kei’s face, those fine eyebrows, long lashes kissing his cheeks, pointed nose with some little blemishes on the skin, and those lips.

Gently putting his hands on his hair, Kuroo caressed those golden locks, appreciating the relief sigh Kei released.

Unbeknownst to them, Ichimi, who was sleeping on the couch saw everything.

At the very moment, she’s starting to doubt that Kuroo belonged to her from the start.

 

~*~

 

“So you also know I went to Tokyo University?” Ichimi nodded happily along with a hum as she pushed Kuroo’s wheelchair towards the back exit where the hospital’s park was located. She decided to take Kuroo out, being stuffed in bed all day makes his muscles stiff so she gladly accepts to bring him out for fresh air.

When they reached their destination, they see some patient’s wandering and simply enjoying the breeze, some are kids and some were old people in wheelchairs.

Ichimi parked his wheelchair near an available bench as she sat on it. She glanced at Kuroo who has his eyes closed with a smile. Yeah, she fell for this Kuroo.

“What else do you know? How did we meet?” Kuroo turned to look at her.

“Well…” She started, feeling a little nervous and a light blush was starting to appear her cheeks, “It was at a café, I was a singer and I always see you there and then we talked…” She smiled softly at the fond memory.

“Really now?”

“Yeah, I remembered you being so particular with the different kinds of coffee,”

“Oh? Did I bombarded you with that?” Ichimi nodded, her blush catching Kuroo’s attention.

“You were so engrossed about the lattes,” Both parties laughed, Kuroo gently holding his cemented arm as the wind blows gently. “Also, we went to Todaji Temple and you were so excited, you kept taking pictures—”

“What? Todaji Temple? I haven’t been at Osaka before. Man, I wish I could remember! Maybe Kei remembers, right?” Her happiness quickly fades as Kuroo mentioned the name she didn’t want to here right now.

Even with the lightest conversations about them, Kuroo still mentions Kei. Ichimi thinks, what’s so special about Kei?

“Ah… yeah,” She simply answered, looking down at her hands, her hair falling on her face at her action. Kuroo, who noticed the immediate change of tone, looked at her before reaching his hand out to tuck away her hair behind her ear and the action surprised the both of them.

“Oh—no, I’m sorry,” He quickly retracted his hand away, feeling a light blush heating his cheeks.

Ichimi was beet red, heart beating rapidly at the slight touch.

And she felt a slight hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> help me out? What scene do you want to happen next here?   
> comment below :*   
> lovelots


	3. Welcome Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't see you for myself until now  
> I don't believe in superstitions but somehow  
> I can see your ghost at night  
> I feel you hold me tight but I know it ain't right  
> \- Ghost by HYDDE & HAWKES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have updated! cheers on that!  
> it's xmas vacation right now but sadly, i'm fully booked.   
> but thank you for staying tuned in to this story!   
> I hope you will enjoy this update :)

After a week, Kuroo was to be released from the hospital in two days and it took all of Ichimi’s strength to agree to let Kuroo stay with Kei.

“Are you sure?” Kei asked as he took a sip of his drink, Godfather. With the taste of the strong scotch whiskey and amaretto liqueur running down his throat, he feels light headed as he stared at Ichimi who was fidgeting.

“I am sure.” Kei was pretty sure she’s lying. Judging by the way she averts her gaze, she’s lying. A waiter came to their table and puts down a plate of delicious Gambas Al Ajillo. “Oh, no th—”

“It’s on the house, Ichimi-san…” Kei took a sip again, “Please, eat it.”

“I love Kuroo…” Kei’s glass was held mid-way, eyes staring at the drink, mind not believing the bravery of the girl. Love can really do something new to people. “I know.”

“I love him so much, please don’t—” Kei banged his glass down, some of the liquids spilling but he doesn’t care. He’s fuming. He’s goddamn frustrated at this girl. “Don’t think of me as some low life man stealing bit—” He bit his lip shut. It just came to him, his words.

Well, he’s known for being rude so he doesn’t really care.

Ichimi though was shaking. Eyes stinging as Kei continued to bore holes in her head.

With a sigh, Kei said, “I’m sorry.” The scraping of heavy chair cringes her ears, Kei was standing up, wiping his hand with a napkin. “Don’t worry, I won’t steal him.”

But what worries Kei more is the itching feeling in his heart once he said those words, like an acid on his tongue.

 

~*~

 

Bokuto clicks the remote key for his car as he stared up at the hospital before him. Kei really does spend shit just for Kuroo. Walking briskly towards the entrance, the smell of antiseptic and rubber gloves greeted him but the interior of the hospital says so otherwise.

There was a big chandelier above, glorious crystals hanging and shining. The floor was tiled with a sophisticated design and there were hand sanitizer disposals everywhere. That’s cool.

Walking towards the elevator, he suddenly bumped into someone who was running, “Hey! Watch out!” When the other turned around, it knocked all the air out of Bokuto’s system. “No, you watch out. Can’t you see I’m a doctor?” The beautiful but apparently feisty doctor said, giving Bokuto an eye roll before running again.

Bokuto just shook his head, a smirk appearing his face as his eyes follow the fading back. The elevator dinged and Bokuto got in.

 

~*~

 

“Who’re you?”

“Man, you hurt me! It’s me, Bokuto!” Bokuto closed the door gently before looking at Kuroo, who was sitting on the bed, carefully. “Man, that must’ve hurt, sorry I didn’t visit you earlier, it’s stressful at the Hive without you.”

“You’re from my work?”

“You remember your work but not your bro? Hurts.” Bokuto grinned, opening the closet containing Kuroo’s clothes as he began taking out the bags, thankful that Ichimi packed them already. Meanwhile, Kuroo was busy observing Bokuto, taking note that he was the one Kei mentioned earlier and apparently, he knows him.

“Bokuto,”

“Yes?”

“Where’s Kei? Is he not the one picking me up?” Bokuto lifts the bags on the table before closing the cabinet, walking up to the fridge to check if there are some left over foods. “He sent me to pick you up, he’s kind of in an emergency meeting right now.”

“Oh…” Kuroo’s chest tighten, the words ringing in his head, repeating the words Bokuto said. “But don’t worry, he’ll be home in the afternoon.” After seeing none, Bokuto stood up straight before beaming a grin at Kuroo.

“What do you do at The Hive?”

“Hmm, I’m the head chef,” Kuroo was shocked, man he must’ve been hit hard to forget even the staffs. “Tsukki told me about the papers,” For now, Kuroo chose to ignore how this man can confidently call his Kei, Tsukki. “It’s in the drawer, I think.”

“Cool. I’ll just fix this then we good,” After Bokuto went out again, Kuroo held onto his head and felt the bandage still wrapped around. Standing up slowly, so glad that no more needles were inserted in his hands or something.

He walked towards his bag and grabbed a beanie in one hand, wearing it carefully and cursing slightly for not being able to use his cemented left hand. “Looking cool,” Kuroo jumped a little as Bokuto entered the room again, waving the papers happily to Kuroo. “We’ll just wait for the doctor to check on you then we’re ready to go home.” Bokuto pulled a chair out before sitting on the couch with his legs crossed. “I know you wanna ask questions, ask away.”

Kuroo raised his brow before sitting carefully, eyeing Bokuto like he did some crime. “How did you know Kei?” Bokuto laughed. Kuroo might have forgotten some parts of his memories but he’s still as straightforward as ever. “We’ve been friends since college, I also know Akiteru.” The stunned expression Kuroo emitted was laughable but Bokuto knows it means his friend is getting jealous.

Bokuto got to know Kuroo when the lad applied at the hotel, he took him in and that’s when he got to meet Kei.

“I was also the one who introduced you to Tsukki,” Kuroo’s ears perked up, his mood foul no more as he looked at Bokuto. “Really? So you’re my best bro?” Bokuto laughed, agreeing to Kuroo but he can’t help but feel uneasy. He’s happy Kuroo’s okay but the constant thought that his best friend Kei was hurting all because of this man in front of him kept banging in the back of his head.

Both of them are good friends of Bokuto.

“Excuse me…”

“Oya oya?” Bokuto smirked once the door opened, only to see the pretty doctor from earlier. The said doctor stopped for a while before maintaining his composure. He cleared his throat, holding Kuroo’s release papers. “We just need a sign for Kuroo’s guardian,”

“That would be me,” Bokuto stood up while raising his hand, eyes never leaving the other. Walking up to the doctor, he grabbed the provided pen before signing it. “Here ya go, Akaashi.”

‘Akaashi’ just gave him a look before walking towards Kuroo to check his vitals one last time. After he’s done, Bokuto was already at the door, “Come on, Kuroo. Let’s go home.” Kuroo bowed to Akaashi before leaving the room with Bokuto.

Akaashi stared for a while, feeling a little irritated by the patient’s friend before looking at the papers. He sighs, feeling so done as he sees what Bokuto wrote.

 

_Bokuto, Koutarou  - 080 – 4628 - HOOT_

_Call me xxoo ;) ;)_

 

~*~

 

Kuroo looked up at the ceiling, the beautiful design on it amazes and confused him for a moment. The apartment’s living room was wide, the ceiling was high, and there was a couch that looks like it costs dollars, a Victorian type chaise. There was also a TV and the view at the windows is breathless.

You can see the whole Tokyo right here.

“This is…”

“You and Kei moved a while back,” Kuroo nods, believing the words coming out of Bokuto. But with everything Kuroo had been through, Bokuto can’t help but feel guilty. Of course, their old apartment was no more. Both of them moved out after their break-up, Kei doesn’t have the heart to go back.

Bokuto knows how much Kei loves Kuroo to the point of not even selling the apartment. He just kept it under his name unoccupied.

“We don’t have pictures?” Bokuto can’t answer that. He just walked up to Kuroo, patting his cemented arm gently. “Create new pictures with him.”

“Huh?”

Bokuto thinks, he wants Kei happy. It’s wrong, yes but Kei’s happiness is rare and his happiness is only Kuroo.

“Nothing. Hey, how about you make yourself comfortable and I’ll cook something!” Kuroo was still confused but he nods anyway, in the back of his head, he was agreeing to Bokuto like he knows he should create new pictures, like the old ones were burned but he just can’t determine the reasons.

 

~*~

 

Tsukishima Kei isn’t selfish. The profit he gets from the hotel is donated to charity, his hotel funds all events for the environment and he helps everyone in need. But the feeling of going home with Kuroo sleeping on the couch touched something in his system.

He never thought he’ll go home again with Kuroo waiting for him.

That selfish feeling of wanting this scene to repeat forever keeps bubbling up.

Quietly putting his bag down, he dimmed the lights in the leaving room before walking towards Kuroo.

He looks so at peace and happy.

Kei prayed for this moment to happen when they broke up.

He can feel his eyes stinging as the memories of them together flooded his mind. Why did they end? They were so perfect, so in love. Kei sniffed, putting his hand over his mouth as he cried silently, staring at Kuroo’s face like it’s his lifeline.

He misses him so much. He wanted to hold his hand, to run his fingers through the messy black locks. But he can’t.

He’s not selfish. He knows very well that Kuroo’s just here because he can’t remember Ichimi. That beautiful, elegant lady forgotten for some messy, rude and workaholic Kei. Tears after tears fell and he feels suffocated. Suffocated to the situation he put himself in.

Kei removed his glasses, wiping his eyes violently, praying for the tears to stop, for him to stop hurting. “Uhmm…” When Kuroo groaned, Kei immediately stood up and turned his back towards Kuroo. “Kei… you’re home,” Kuroo slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes as a yawn escaped his lips.

Kei was frozen on the spot, his glasses still in his hand, cheeks stained with tears. He quickly wipes his cheeks, hoping Kuroo won’t notice anything. Taking a deep breath, Kei averted his eyes towards the wall clock and saw it was past midnight. Might as well—

Then Kei felt a familiar warmth against his back and his eyes starts to sting. He feels Kuroo’s chin on his shoulder as the other male sighs, “Sorry I can’t hug you, I have cemented arms.” Kei gulped, Kuroo’s deep voice near his ear was doing something to his heart.

He’s not selfish. He knows that.

“Go to sleep, I’ll just—take a bath.” Kuroo didn’t move for a while, still attached to the blond as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. “Don’t stay up late, please…” Kei didn’t know he’ll get to hear those words again.

Over and over Kuroo said those words whenever he went home late at night but Kei was as stubborn as a rock and never listens. But this time… maybe Kei will do what Kuroo please. “Yes…”

He feels Kuroo smiling before that warmth was gone again. He was spun around (him wondering where Kuroo got all that strength in one arm) and to be honest, things he doesn’t expect happens.

Kuroo kisses Kei’s forehead, saying his good night before walking away. Leaving Kei’s heart in a jumble of mess and mind wondering…

Is he really not selfish?

Kei briskly walks towards the kitchen, stumbling to the fridge to grab something to drink when his eyes landed on the countertop. There was a container with a note on it and it’s definitely Kuroo’s handwriting.

 

_I cooked with the help of Bokuto. Eat this, love_

 

He opened the container and the smell of chicken teriyaki filled the air. Quickly grabbing some chopstick and a glass with a bottle of vodka beside him. He inhaled, pouring the vodka in his glass and downed it in one go.

The tasteless but burning liquid ran through his throat down to his stomach. Staring at the food for a moment, tears start to pool his eyes. Taking a piece of chicken between the wooden chopsticks, he breathed in one last time before welcoming the savoring taste.

And he cries. Cries and eat and drink and it repeats.

Big fat tears pour down, falling to the dish he kept eating and eating. He missed Kuroo’s cooking. A year, one freaking year without tasting the cooking of his beloved. His vision blurry as he finishes his food. Knees going weak as he sat on the floor crying.

_I am not selfish…_

 

~*~

 

Kei groaned before turning around, the uncomfortableness of his couch made his back ache a little. Kei didn’t manage to sleep next to Kuroo, he just can’t. He wasn’t ready. “I told you not to stay up late,” The blond heard some shuffling before the clinking of glasses. Kei wiped his eyes before reaching for his glasses.

“Good morning, Kei!” Kuroo beamed once he regained his sight and Kei’s heart skipped a beat. “You’ve been drinking, stop this okay?” Kuroo pouts, showing him the bottle of Jack Daniel’s. “I-I’m sorry…”

Kuroo can’t help but feel that something’s weird. Usually, when he reprimands Kei, the other will spat something sarcastic but now, Kei was even apologizing. Well maybe because he just forgot some parts.

“It’s okay.” The other walked towards the window and opened the curtains, the bright sunlight welcoming, stinging Kei’s tired eyes. “Kei… I made breakfast. Eggs and toast, is that okay?” This happy feeling inside Kei’s chest is overwhelming, the thought of going to taste Kuroo’s cooking again is… wonderful. Even if it’s a simple dish such as eggs and bacon. “Yes, of course.”

“Go to the dining area, okay?” Kei nods and watches the fading back of Kuroo, taking note to ask Akaashi when Kuroo can have the cement removed from his arm.

Then a variety of vibration came off, eyes averting towards the coffee table where his phone lays and the sense of selfishness crept up to him again.

 

_Ichimi-san calling…_

 

No. It’s too early for reality. What doe— “Kei!” The voice of Kuroo snapped Kei out of his thoughts. Looking one last time at his phone, he stood up. Apologized to thin air as he ignored the call and went to Kuroo.

 

~*~

 

“Bokuto-senpai!” Hinata ran inside the big kitchen, almost bumping the hot plates of crabs, hands waving towards their manager slash head chef. “Whoa, whoa. What is it, Hinata?” the orange haired man panted before looking up at Bokuto. “There were people eating! And they wanted to compliment the chef!”

“Really?”

“Yeah! Especially your ‘Nanohana no Karashiae’ dish! They really liked it!” Bokuto walks towards the faucet and washed his hands, listening to Hinata rambling about the guests. Bokuto wiped his hand with the towel before fixing his hair. “Okay, let me see them!”

Hinata led Bokuto outside the kitchen and into the dining area, greeting some guests who know him along the way. When Bokuto reached a familiar table, his eyes wide and so was the one sitting on it.

“He’s Bokuto Koutarou, your chef for tonight!” Hinata beamed to the group of people. “Oya…” Bokuto smiled as he sees Doctor Akaashi Keiji seated right in front of him. Bokuto talked to some of the guests and puts his hand on Akaashi’s shoulder.

After a while, Bokuto bows before leaning down, “Glad you like my cooking,” He whispered before leaving with Hinata.

Akaashi just huffed, watching as the chef walks away with a smug face. Rolling his eyes, he guiltily eats the Nanohana, feeling the delicious taste of his favorite food. Once they all finished their main course, a waiter walked up to them and placed a delicious platter full of mochi. “Uhm- I didn’t order-”

“It’s on the house, sir. Please, enjoy.” The waiter bowed and left.

“Wow, Akaashi-kun, you just caught someone’s eyes,” His colleagues chuckled at the flustered face of the doctor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #SaveTsukki2k16

**Author's Note:**

> comment your thoughts!


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